Monday, April 18, 2011

advice please. thanks.

there are some things i've been going over in my head lately and i just don't have the answers (not super serious stuff at all) so i thought i'd open it up to the blog world for a little bit of bloggy advice!

  • i've been using proactive for a loooooong time now and i've really just grown tired of it. i had fabulous skin in my teens and early twenties, but then my skin decided to go all teenager on me. anyhoo, i need some help in the facial cleanser dept. i tend to have combination skin and i like to feel the little scrubber things on my skin so help me out peeps. what should i be using??

  • my next 2 topics are about this little beauty here

this is my sweet and brilliant thinker of a 5 yr old finley grace. she thinks about every little thing and asks really good questions. let me preface this by saying that my parents are divorced and remarried to other people. my mom is granny, her husband is papa, my dad is poppy, and his wife is grandma pat. we recently went to visit my dad in california and as we all rode back from dinner together, finley asked me this question. "mom, do you marry one person when you're young and then when you get older you marry someone else like granny and poppy did?" my answer-"ummmm. let me think about that and talk to daddy and we'll get back to you". gotta love her. i'm stumped. we are stumped.

we are a christian family and believe one marriage FOREVER. now we know sometimes it aint all roses and it doesn't work out that way, but that is not what we are teaching our kids. am i making too big a deal out of this question? i just really feel like this question requires the "right" answer and i don't want to say the wrong thing and miss my chance to give her some good information.

let me give you some background for another question she recently asked. my older brother had a son when he was in college many years ago. that son is now 15. my brother got married last year. finley doesn't really spend that much time with my brother b/c we don't have the same mom and he doesn't live near me, so she really doesn't know much about his son either. so we were talking about my brother getting married and his new wife, etc. and very thoughtfully she says to me, "how can matthew have already had 15 birthdays if uncle mario just got married?" see, in her world people get married, then they have kids. she knows nothing different. not sure how to break it to her. HELP people!!!!!

i love that kid. she is so analytical and so stinkin smart and she really gives me a run for my money.

  • ok, now keeping in mind this same kid (if you can't already tell, she is very high maintenance and takes up a lot of my thinking). she thrives off of positive reinforcement and requires a lot of it to be ok. she also loves to be helpful and independent. i've been racking my brain trying to think of a chore/reward/behavior system. i think i left out the part about how she is VERY spirited, a.k.a. dramatic, sensitive, needy,controlling, intense. she is all of these things x 10. a tad mentally exhausting. all of these things manifest themselves by her throwing major tantrums, crying/screaming in her room for 30-45 minutes, lots of door slamming, and foot stomping. i just feel like her behavior could be altered if she had something to work for. does that make sense? she gets stressed if things don't go her way. i mean, really stressed. i can see it all over her. way too stressed for a 5 yr old. we were on the verge of putting her in play therapy. i love this girl so much i can't stand it and i just want her to be happy. a happy 5 yr old kid. and she is a lot of the time, but if things don't go her way.....woohoo! anyway, i need advice on some sort of behavior/reward system thingy. BIG HELP!!

  • ok, last thing. a father's day gift for the man that has everything. my husband. he shops way more than i do and takes up more of the closet. i know.....he's a different breed of man. he's special. love him to pieces. any advice???



  1. You've got a smart little girl with such an inquisitive mind! I've been thinking about your post since I read it yesterday. We'll be faced with the question about divorce with our boys one day. Both of our parents are divorced and remarried. That's FOUR sets of grandparents!!! We're still a few years away, so I haven't completely figured out what we'll tell them.

    I understand the care you are taking with such big questions. These are life lessons our kids are going to be learning. And we, as their parents, have such a huge responsibility in teaching them.

    I know this isn't a comment full of advice. Like I said, I'm still thinking through your questions and digesting everything. I see myself in your shoes in a few short years. I'm going to be praying for you guys and for your smart little girl and for God to give y'all wisdom as you guide your children through the hard lessons of life.

  2. thank you so much cara. she is oh so inquisitive and she really does stump me sometimes. i'm still praying for the right answers to those questions, the many more that she stumps me with, and the many more i know will come. i will be in prayer for y'all too.

  3. Thanks for visiting my blog!

    Just wanted to address these questions, my parents are divorced and my grandparents were divorced when I was growing up. When I asked questions my mom always said that sometimes people make decisions that we may not necessarily agree with, but that is what they are. We still love them no matter what. I was always pretty satisfied knowing this. My mom has been married a few times, but I don't see it as negative because I have tons of brothers and sisters I love dearly because of it. And my parents are {literally} best friends. They get along great.

    As far as skin goes... use lemon juice on a cotton round with sugar sprinkled on top of it. Its a natural exfoliant, but has the acidity of the lemon to clean. I've never had clearer skin and used proactiv for years! And it tastes good ;)